谷歌翻译的中文版在这里。下面是英文原文（偶尔会有更新；中文版一般情况下不更新）。
WeChat app is a time sucker
My better half (my wife) thinks I spent too much time on WeChat app aka 微信 wei’xin, and I agree after using WeChat for about 10 years. One of my new year’s resolutions is to use less iPhone, social media in general including WeChat.
I mentioned a few tips I tried to cut down the time and activities there (see My other tips: Limit social media app installation), copy and paste below.
“…disabled the moments 朋友圈, log out, cleanup the groups that I am active, and so on. One tip I learned from a new friend recently, and I plan to implement, that is I am going to use regular phone and text instead of WeChat if I am talking to some Chinese friends on WeChat...”
Moments 朋友圈
The reason why moments took time is sometimes people will comment, and other times people will like. Also, psychologically and practically, people will usually only show the best of their lives. Other times people will post something political or potentially controversial – e.g., yours truly. I do remember the old rules at America workplace: no politics and religion.
Regarding comments for the moments 朋友圈：I have been at both ends of this – meaning, I have posted comments with condescending tones and have received similar comments too. This is just like the Internet BBS forum in the good old days, or on Twitter/X nowadays (to lesser extent, on FB).
One tip: if you are not sure about your comments, please hold back for a bit, or try put a nicer tone than your 1st instinct or draft.
Second tip: comment is somewhat like your normal conversation with your friend, with the added visibility of all your mutual friends. So keep this in mind when you comment. A related matter: that doesn’t mean you never comment. Comment as you wish/like. My personal philosophy of “talking to friends” or “interacting with my friends” is: those who mind won’t matter, and those who matter won’t mind. If you need more explanation, I can expand. I noticed one or two friends of mine like to PM me after they saw my WeChat moments or posts at group – that’s perfectly fine, at the same time, I think they may benefit from commenting on the “moments” or the “post in the group” right there. Just join the discussion (aka the party). I understand for some friends it may means muster some courage or a beer or a tequila 🙂
Back to comments: I think another way to look at it is to treat others like how you wanted to be treated. Also, please assume everyone is fighting her or his own battle, so be kind.
Third tip: what to post? Personally I used post a lot re: my kids. But I stopped recently. I remember couple years ago, once my mom thinks the principal next to Sophia (Spoede Spelling Bee contest runner-up), is my wife and she felt sad about it: because principal is about my age, who is older than my wife. My mom was sad because she thought my wife got that old (from the look).
Other reasons I stopped posting about my kids: 1) My kids are getting older, and they don’t want me sharing much or any of their photos or videos to outside world. Probably the parents of teens or pre-teens can understand this better; 2) I am a bit tired of 晒娃 too – not to mention the self-inflicted wound I mentioned above.
I think in general showing kids pictures are okay, if they are little and cute. The main purpose should be mainly share with family and friends. Nothing more. Because in today’s world, I increasingly think there are downside to show off kids pictures on social media. For example, this was not WeChat. Once my friend in real life, took two profile pictures from my FB page, and email it to another friend who I am not very familiar. This is the privacy issue I am worried about. While I am here, let me talk about another privacy example I saw in person. I intentionally don’t write my kids name in the “moments” post: then commentator would say my kid’s name. Perhaps one more reason for me to not talk about my kids at my “moments 朋友圈”。
I know I am probably talking about some of the gray area of social media here. My thinking after using this WeChat for 10 years, and also after using FB and Twitter since 2008, is when in doubt, don’t post or comment. This is also something I saw at LHWHS once or twice. In other words, don’t be like Trump or Elon Musk. Because we are not them.
Group Chat 群
Note as of this writing I’m also the group moderator 群主 of 5+ active groups. I will talk about the basics of being a group moderator 群主 later. But we should probably cover the basics of being a group member (not group moderator) first. I think some of the stuff I said re: “Moments 朋友圈” are mostly applicable to the group chat 群 as well – with a few caveats or difference.
- Please note there is a very short window or duration to “take the word back”: I am guessing a minute or so (I need to google and confirm). So this means both the original post or comments should be more thoughtful. Don’t try to be overly proactive or in Chinese, 语不惊人死不休。Basically if you are not Trump (or me), who basically don’t care that much about job etc., be careful about what you put on group chats.
- Similar to comments for moments: speaking one’s piece of mind is totally fine, but it also depends on your relationship of you and the other person. There is no need to try to persuade something, try to win an argument (at the cost of losing a friend 🙂
- If you think you may be overly aggressive, apologize to the other person, either in the group, or via PM, or best of all, say it in person. I have a few experience of leaving group chat, got into argument with family members or friends in group chats, but being sincere and being honest (with a bit compromise) seems worked out in most cases.
- Try to speak up at a group , don’t be a forever diver 尽量不要做永远♾️的潜水员. I have also seen people being observer the whole time – it’s okay as long as the other people in the group chat feel okay. But I think it’s either actively participate or leave. I do understand sometimes people stay in a group just of mostly for the fear of missing some information or for gathering information. Personally I am not a fan of this practice.
Don’t be arrogant or make assumptions
When I got some popularity sometimes, my wife would remind me “don’t just say anything you think it’s funny”. I got it sometimes. I know sometimes my dad joke is not funny. And sometimes due to language barriers, my Chinese friends may think it’s not a joke 🙁
I do fewer jokes now. My girls (daughters) sometimes would remind me “dad, your jokes are not funny” – they are actually serious. I think it’s important put this in perspective, and don’t carried away when I felt good about myself. That’s also I put a separate paragraph here mainly to remind myself.
For example, nothing to do with WeChat or social media, I recall probably in year 2012 or 2013, I got chance to visit the Bellerive Country Club with the colleagues of Arch Coal (now Arch Resources). I think we got to go probably because the CEO of Arch is a member of the country club. I was happy about it – my wife reminded me: you got to go only because you work for the company. You are not a member.
Blocking 拉黑
Also: regarding “blocking” of friends, and privileges of friends (reading or sharing moments 朋友圈). I saw people doing the wrong way on those two fronts. Once I was trying to PM a friend, the message bounced, and I quickly realized he “blocked” me. If he doesn’t like me sharing too much or my contents on my moments 朋友圈. He can simply ignore it and chose “not to see” my moments 朋友圈 – WeChat allows that. And if I don’t want someone to see or read my moments 朋友圈 – I can do that too. In fact, another time I realized another friend is not sharing her moments 朋友圈 with me. You may wonder how do I find out? Well, both my wife and I are friends with the friend, one day my wife said something on her moments 朋友圈, and I said I didn’t see that, then I realized she was not sharing the content with me 🙁 Note all this sharing or not “sharing” are perfectly fine. I consider this a strength of WeChat platform, say compared to FB, Instagram or Twitter/X.
But “blocking” obviously could cause some ill feelings. And I have seen that in action in family members too, in addition to the incident I mentioned above.
Short videos 视频
I think WeChat probably added this feature after seeing the success of 抖音 and TikTok, both products of ByteDance 字节跳动。Personally I am a bit careful on short videos, as this could be another time sucker, and I would call it “doom scrolling“. And I believe many people agree doom scrolling is not healthy, such as this article published by Harvard Medical School.
I do see though, sometimes people would “like” NSFW contents, and I believe the “like” is visible to all the friends, and in many occasions “all the friends” include significant other. This is just as dumb as “like” some crazy content on the good old Twitter (visible to the whole world). Not good.
One more thing about short videos 视频。I don’t have 视频号：but sometimes I need to or want to share some short videos. Besides just take video and share from “moments 朋友圈”, I know another way is to share an existing video to WeChat, save as favorite, from then save as “note”, and lastly I can share “note” to “moments 朋友圈”. Not the most efficient or elegant way, but does the job.
Why the WeChat is messy
Because envy, jealousy and fights are human nature and in a way WeChat is a reflection of our society. I recall once a guy was upset about something in my group (by that I mean the group I am the moderator), and left in a bad taste. I don’t really care that much. Another time someone may have spread rumors basically saying the guy left the group, and another lady were badmouthing me. I don’t know.
I am not very familiar with all 3 people, nor am I good or close friend with any of the 3 in the real life. My take is I don’t really care.